He's straightforward, intelligent, driven, successful, sincere, laid back, polite and says what he means. He's the straight man. He doesn't try to be funny. But luckily for us, he is! And more luckily for us, I have no problem exploiting it! So here you are, fine people. Good, clean fun from the straight man!

7/13/10

"They were just always there for me, no matter what else I was doing in my life. They were like....big brothers. Always there."
--explaining his lifelong devotion to Transformers to his son.

7/6/10

"I'm closer than I would be if I were further away..(pause)..do you know what I mean?"
--explaining his location to coworker on phone.
"It's not polite to kill anyone...ever."
--talking to his 5 year old about the justice system.